Hello, disregarded blog. I am here, once again.
My status for the day: Life is good. I have a man who loves me, a fun and loving daughter, a baby on the way, great friends and family, a good dog, a great job, a decent house and car, and pickled cauliflower in the fridge.
Physical update (Don't read if you don't want to know!!):
I have gained 43 lbs. to date. Not bad, considering that 3/4 of that was put on in the first 4 months . . . ! I am catching up to it. Or something.
I haven't measured my girth - let me do that right now. . . . ummmm . . . . 47 1/2 inches. I started at 30.
My hands, legs, and feet are swollen.
I have to pee every 30-45 minutes . . .
I get winded walking from my desk to the bathroom.
My hair is unmanageable.
My skin is crying out for less hormones.
It's hard to even roll over in bed.
I suffer from acid reflux.
My teeth hurt. So do my gums.
My boobs are finally getting bigger! But my belly trumps them still.
My belly button went from 2nd knuckle deep to half a fingernail shallow.
I can't reach my toes or get up easily from the floor (or the couch for that matter).
I get really hot when I am trying to sleep.
Cravings: carbonated mineral water, ice cream, strong flavors (pickle, spicy food, olives, mustard, citrus, etc.).
Emotional Update:
I still worry I will damage Peanut by resting something on my stomach, or bending too much, or sleeping on the "wrong" side, or eating the "wrong" food, or missing my vitamin, or whatever else my pea brain can come up with.
I am giggly over a Laffy Taffy joke one minute, and crying over a Hallmark ad the next.
I no longer have a filter when I speak.
I no longer have patience for stupidity.
Although I was never super careless with myself, I miss not having to worry so much about what I do to myself.
I am nervous about the baby room being done in time, even though she won't even use it right away. I am also nervous that we won't have the furniture in time.
I am starting to get the nesting instinct, which allows for me to overbuy, overcook, and overprepare.
I keep thinking that there really aren't 7 weeks to go, that she'll show up early, and that makes me worry more (see 2 lines above).
I get frustrated easier than ever before.
There is already an anticipation around doing everything perfectly (which I know is not an attainable goal).
Baby Update:
She is still breech.
I am feeling her kick a lot more than before, but I think it's because there is less fluid and more baby.
Natalie talked to her on the phone last night. :)
She likes to kick the dog.
She reacts to music and spicy food.
She is about 4 - 4 1/2 lbs. now.
Other:
My symptoms categorize me about 2 weeks farther along than the doctor estimated.
I got a promotion at work! With a raise! Just in time for babysitting fees. :)
We are starting to interview potential temps for me at work. First one is tomorrow. The goal is to start them next week, which will be nice, because I will have some help for at least a few weeks.
We bought an Envoy from a friend. He took very good care of it, and gave us a very good deal on it. It makes me feel safer and much more comfortable.
The latest check-up showed protein in my urine, a second sign of preeclampsia (the first being my swollen extremities). I was chided for not drinking enough fluid. Otherwise, everything looked good. Now I visit every two weeks, and the next visit may include a physical "look-see" to make sure I'm not dilated yet.
I continue to have strange dreams. Lately, there have been a lot that suggest she is a he.
People are finally speaking up about my pregnancy. When I say people, I mean strangers. When I say speaking up, I mean they are asking when I'm due, or if it's a girl or boy, or giving me a congratulations. I'm sure it was noticeable before, but now it must be so noticeable that they aren't afraid to make a remark.
A baby shower was held for Lorelai at work Friday. I will post some photos. It was spectacular.
My last shower will hopefully happen on May 22nd. I hate waiting until the last moment to plan, but that's how this one is ending up. I am trying not to stress over it, but I can't help myself. My blood pressure is actually really low, considering the frenzies into which I work myself.
Showing posts with label aggression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label aggression. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Complete Randomness.
While I have some "free" time, I just thought I would write a little bit of random stuff . . .
1.) First, I think it's strange that she's not even here yet, but she already has a lot of names. Peanut, Lorelai (or Lorelei), JuneBug, Rory . . . . it's funny.
2.) I wish I would have listed articles that I've read over the last several months that I've found useful.
3.) Either there's something in the water, or the economy got to the best of us, because preggos are coming out of the woodwork. Yowsa.
4.) I already find it so much easier to have Peanut in my belly rather than out in the real world. I only have to feed me to feed her, I don't have to change diapers, there's no crying (from her anyway) . . . so much simpler!
5.) I really do love my belly. And as much as I fear strangers touching me, I actually don't mind people rubbing my basketball-like protrusion. It's weird.
6.) Natalie thinks it's funny that I have a big belly. I thought that was funny. Until she said my butt was big, too.
7.) Just when I think my bladder is completely empty, I sneeze or cough and prove myself completely wrong.
8.) I sometimes start getting existential or something, and really try to concentrate on the fact that there is a little body inside of me, and that is how I started. It's like entropy or something. You know, the thought that everything achieves greater chaos and becomes more disordered (or something like that)? It twists my mind up.
9.) I've developed an Earth Day event at work, and we aim to help clean up the environment and promote awareness of our own carbon footprint(s) . . . yet I am still teetering on the use of cloth diapers. Hello!?! I for sure should be using them, right?
10.) Every time I swear now, even if I'm by myself (which I really never am, right?), a little part of me wonders if she heard me and will develop a potty mouth.
11.) Part of me wants our JuneBug to have blonde hair, but part of me prefers brown . . . and I guess there's another part that is hoping for red hair. I guess that just means I don't have a preference. I just hope it doesn't gray as fast as mine did, or fall out as fast as someone else's did.
12.) After a "deep" discussion with a fellow employee, I've realized that I am my mother. I have a feeling I will be just like her with respect to raising children. I think she did a pretty good job, but I'm afraid more than one Alyssa might be a stress on the world.
13.) I always wonder if having a child will change me at all. I mean, I've never gotten too excited over a baby, or talked baby talk, or had the urge to gush over one . . . I wonder if all that will change.
14.) Speaking of, so many people tell me that I don't know what it's like to have children until I've had one. I think that's a crock of poo-poo. After all, I have Natalie, and I feel like I would do anything for her. I would jump out in front of a car to save her. I would go hungry to have her fed. I would be by her side if she ever needed me. And I will cry when she goes to school, and learns to drive, and gets a boyfriend, and . . . but we'll see.
15.) It's funny that pregnant women tend to get more . . . aggressive. I have several stories I can tell about such a thing, but it seems counter-intuitive, at least in my anecdotes. I have probably put myself (and baby) in danger more since I've been pregnant, when I should be sheltering myself (and her) more. Weird.
16.) I am nesting. I can't help myself, but every time I go to a store, I have to look at baby stuff. Food, clothes, gear . . . what do I need still to make our home ready for a baby? And when I'm home, I constantly stare at the details -- where do I need bump guards? How many socket covers do I need? What do I need to get rid of? Are these plants poisonous? . . . .it never ends with me.
17.) It seems sometimes that my life is now an open book . . . which is fine (see number 5 on the list). I kind-of see it as preparation for the moment when multiple heads are staring at my crotch, waiting for Lorelai to show up.
18.) I often wonder what's worse: being pregnant; or being the significant other of a preggo. Clinton thinks I'm crazy. Combine constant hunger, pretty constant pain (maybe in different locales), mood swings, worrying and stressing, sleeplessness, and whatever else I'm dishing out, I make for a pretty loathesome partner. HOWEVER, he gets to drink, smoke, eat whatever he wants, and not deal with the aforementioned trauma. Hmmmmmmm . . . .
19.) I'm to the point now where I'm thinking about the moment I realize I'm in labor. I still haven't gotten to the delivery portion of this journey, but I keep picturing my water breaking in the middle of a meeting, or contractions starting while I walk alone down the hall at work, unable to get help. It is, of course, me worrying, but it's progress nonetheless. Now I just have to think forward a little more and prepare myself for the next part . . .
20.) Sometimes I still think I'm dreaming about this whole pregnancy thing.
1.) First, I think it's strange that she's not even here yet, but she already has a lot of names. Peanut, Lorelai (or Lorelei), JuneBug, Rory . . . . it's funny.
2.) I wish I would have listed articles that I've read over the last several months that I've found useful.
3.) Either there's something in the water, or the economy got to the best of us, because preggos are coming out of the woodwork. Yowsa.
4.) I already find it so much easier to have Peanut in my belly rather than out in the real world. I only have to feed me to feed her, I don't have to change diapers, there's no crying (from her anyway) . . . so much simpler!
5.) I really do love my belly. And as much as I fear strangers touching me, I actually don't mind people rubbing my basketball-like protrusion. It's weird.
6.) Natalie thinks it's funny that I have a big belly. I thought that was funny. Until she said my butt was big, too.
7.) Just when I think my bladder is completely empty, I sneeze or cough and prove myself completely wrong.
8.) I sometimes start getting existential or something, and really try to concentrate on the fact that there is a little body inside of me, and that is how I started. It's like entropy or something. You know, the thought that everything achieves greater chaos and becomes more disordered (or something like that)? It twists my mind up.
9.) I've developed an Earth Day event at work, and we aim to help clean up the environment and promote awareness of our own carbon footprint(s) . . . yet I am still teetering on the use of cloth diapers. Hello!?! I for sure should be using them, right?
10.) Every time I swear now, even if I'm by myself (which I really never am, right?), a little part of me wonders if she heard me and will develop a potty mouth.
11.) Part of me wants our JuneBug to have blonde hair, but part of me prefers brown . . . and I guess there's another part that is hoping for red hair. I guess that just means I don't have a preference. I just hope it doesn't gray as fast as mine did, or fall out as fast as someone else's did.
12.) After a "deep" discussion with a fellow employee, I've realized that I am my mother. I have a feeling I will be just like her with respect to raising children. I think she did a pretty good job, but I'm afraid more than one Alyssa might be a stress on the world.
13.) I always wonder if having a child will change me at all. I mean, I've never gotten too excited over a baby, or talked baby talk, or had the urge to gush over one . . . I wonder if all that will change.
14.) Speaking of, so many people tell me that I don't know what it's like to have children until I've had one. I think that's a crock of poo-poo. After all, I have Natalie, and I feel like I would do anything for her. I would jump out in front of a car to save her. I would go hungry to have her fed. I would be by her side if she ever needed me. And I will cry when she goes to school, and learns to drive, and gets a boyfriend, and . . . but we'll see.
15.) It's funny that pregnant women tend to get more . . . aggressive. I have several stories I can tell about such a thing, but it seems counter-intuitive, at least in my anecdotes. I have probably put myself (and baby) in danger more since I've been pregnant, when I should be sheltering myself (and her) more. Weird.
16.) I am nesting. I can't help myself, but every time I go to a store, I have to look at baby stuff. Food, clothes, gear . . . what do I need still to make our home ready for a baby? And when I'm home, I constantly stare at the details -- where do I need bump guards? How many socket covers do I need? What do I need to get rid of? Are these plants poisonous? . . . .it never ends with me.
17.) It seems sometimes that my life is now an open book . . . which is fine (see number 5 on the list). I kind-of see it as preparation for the moment when multiple heads are staring at my crotch, waiting for Lorelai to show up.
18.) I often wonder what's worse: being pregnant; or being the significant other of a preggo. Clinton thinks I'm crazy. Combine constant hunger, pretty constant pain (maybe in different locales), mood swings, worrying and stressing, sleeplessness, and whatever else I'm dishing out, I make for a pretty loathesome partner. HOWEVER, he gets to drink, smoke, eat whatever he wants, and not deal with the aforementioned trauma. Hmmmmmmm . . . .
19.) I'm to the point now where I'm thinking about the moment I realize I'm in labor. I still haven't gotten to the delivery portion of this journey, but I keep picturing my water breaking in the middle of a meeting, or contractions starting while I walk alone down the hall at work, unable to get help. It is, of course, me worrying, but it's progress nonetheless. Now I just have to think forward a little more and prepare myself for the next part . . .
20.) Sometimes I still think I'm dreaming about this whole pregnancy thing.
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