An update . . . getting lazy.

Howdy, All -- It's me. I'm in that phase of being miserable and yet giddy as hell.

I try not to complain. And so many people (well, at least every mother out there) has dealt with the following issues, that I feel I have no right to complain. But, take the following note as more of a documentation of the reality of pregnancy, not a compilation of "feel bad for me" lyrics.

Over the last week or so, my joints, specifically in my hips, have begun loosening and I am sore constantly. I have the side-to-side waddle, which strangely has an effect on others around me (my mom unconsciously mimicked me through the store the other day).

My feet, ankles, and now calves are swollen nearly around the clock, and now my left foot has 1 long stretch mark at the base of my toes. Blood has collected at my heels for some reason, and I have also acquired a slight rash on both feet (Doctor says this does happen occasionally with preggos). Mom gave me a pedicure last weekend, which was super cool -- I can't remember the last time I was pampered like that.

I ripped the panel in my last pair of pants that fit as I tried to put them on in the hot, sticky weather. Dammit.

Socks are almost impossible to wear, due to the swelling . . . and my shoe choices are minimal: flip-flops or crocs.

When Mom showed up last weekend for the shower at Lisa and Jeff's, the first thing I did was show her my big, round, watermelon-like belly. Her response? "Oh. You have stretch marks." Me, being very nervous about such markings, assured her that I did not, as I had been inspecting daily. Hmmmmm. Then she said, "They're right there." I looked down and said, "Where? I don't see any!" Well, of course I didn't see them; they're on the underside of my belly. That just sucks.

While we're on my belly area . . . my belly button has not popped out like a turkey timer, yet. It is very, very close to protruding, though. I am afraid that if I continue to gain girth as I have over the last couple of weeks, it will surely stick its insides out. (By the way, I still owe you a bump photo -- but believe me, I'm large and in charge.)

My skin is still suffering from the surge of hormones, which is just lovely. And that glow that everyone talks about is really just sweat, caused by being hot constantly. (Sorry to ruin the fun!)

And what is this cruel trick of nature that blesses preggos with clumsiness and the inability to bend over at the same time?!? I drop my keys, bottle caps, phone, and whatever else I might come into contact, and then even when I do get myself in the bent-over position, I still can't grasp anything without fumbling some more.

Everyone talks about the "burst" of energy women receive late in the game, but I have yet to experience that. I am exhausted, yet cannot sleep. It could be the 90+ weather that appeared suddenly, or it could be that the restriction of sleeping on my left side leaves me "sleeping" in my least favorite sleeping position. Or it could be that I have to pee every 45 minutes. Or it could be that I wake up hungry at least twice a night. Or it could be Clint's snoring.

Speaking of hunger, I don't find myself eating too much more than I used to. And it's not because I'm at the same level of hunger at every meal, but more because I can't fit any more food into my stomach. Peanut has occupied not only my lung space and my bladder space, but also my stomach space.

There are so many more symptoms I could explain to you, but it gets to be just grotesque. So I'll leave the rest of the physical implications out.

Emotionally, I'm all over the place. I constantly envision what the future holds -- all the way from labor and delivery to holding a little baby to having to leave her behind and go back to work. Ugh. Draining.

Excitement one minute turns into fear the next. Smiling leads to grimacing. Road rage is completely uncontrollable at this point.

I am nesting. Peanut's room is done, and I've organized all of her goodies already. I built all the furniture myself, and I have started monitoring the house for safety concerns. Part of my problem, as far as the cankles go, is that I can't seem to just sit with my feet up. I am constantly trying to perfect our little house.

Update -- 7 Weeks to Go!!

Hello, disregarded blog. I am here, once again.

My status for the day: Life is good. I have a man who loves me, a fun and loving daughter, a baby on the way, great friends and family, a good dog, a great job, a decent house and car, and pickled cauliflower in the fridge.

Physical update (Don't read if you don't want to know!!):

I have gained 43 lbs. to date. Not bad, considering that 3/4 of that was put on in the first 4 months . . . ! I am catching up to it. Or something.

I haven't measured my girth - let me do that right now. . . . ummmm . . . . 47 1/2 inches. I started at 30.

My hands, legs, and feet are swollen.

I have to pee every 30-45 minutes . . .

I get winded walking from my desk to the bathroom.

My hair is unmanageable.

My skin is crying out for less hormones.

It's hard to even roll over in bed.

I suffer from acid reflux.

My teeth hurt. So do my gums.

My boobs are finally getting bigger! But my belly trumps them still.

My belly button went from 2nd knuckle deep to half a fingernail shallow.

I can't reach my toes or get up easily from the floor (or the couch for that matter).
I get really hot when I am trying to sleep.

Cravings: carbonated mineral water, ice cream, strong flavors (pickle, spicy food, olives, mustard, citrus, etc.).

Emotional Update:

I still worry I will damage Peanut by resting something on my stomach, or bending too much, or sleeping on the "wrong" side, or eating the "wrong" food, or missing my vitamin, or whatever else my pea brain can come up with.

I am giggly over a Laffy Taffy joke one minute, and crying over a Hallmark ad the next.

I no longer have a filter when I speak.

I no longer have patience for stupidity.

Although I was never super careless with myself, I miss not having to worry so much about what I do to myself.

I am nervous about the baby room being done in time, even though she won't even use it right away. I am also nervous that we won't have the furniture in time.

I am starting to get the nesting instinct, which allows for me to overbuy, overcook, and overprepare.

I keep thinking that there really aren't 7 weeks to go, that she'll show up early, and that makes me worry more (see 2 lines above).

I get frustrated easier than ever before.

There is already an anticipation around doing everything perfectly (which I know is not an attainable goal).

Baby Update:

She is still breech.

I am feeling her kick a lot more than before, but I think it's because there is less fluid and more baby.

Natalie talked to her on the phone last night. :)

She likes to kick the dog.

She reacts to music and spicy food.

She is about 4 - 4 1/2 lbs. now.

Other:

My symptoms categorize me about 2 weeks farther along than the doctor estimated.

I got a promotion at work! With a raise! Just in time for babysitting fees. :)

We are starting to interview potential temps for me at work. First one is tomorrow. The goal is to start them next week, which will be nice, because I will have some help for at least a few weeks.

We bought an Envoy from a friend. He took very good care of it, and gave us a very good deal on it. It makes me feel safer and much more comfortable.

The latest check-up showed protein in my urine, a second sign of preeclampsia (the first being my swollen extremities). I was chided for not drinking enough fluid. Otherwise, everything looked good. Now I visit every two weeks, and the next visit may include a physical "look-see" to make sure I'm not dilated yet.

I continue to have strange dreams. Lately, there have been a lot that suggest she is a he.

People are finally speaking up about my pregnancy. When I say people, I mean strangers. When I say speaking up, I mean they are asking when I'm due, or if it's a girl or boy, or giving me a congratulations. I'm sure it was noticeable before, but now it must be so noticeable that they aren't afraid to make a remark.

A baby shower was held for Lorelai at work Friday. I will post some photos. It was spectacular.

My last shower will hopefully happen on May 22nd. I hate waiting until the last moment to plan, but that's how this one is ending up. I am trying not to stress over it, but I can't help myself. My blood pressure is actually really low, considering the frenzies into which I work myself.

18 Weeks and Counting

So, I've been trying to take photos in the same shirt every two weeks or so, but this morning I snapped one really quick just to get one . . . I will try to get a pic in the right shirt later this week.

As you can see, I've gained quite a bit of girth over the last two weeks . . . I'm wondering if I should start taking photos every week now??

My emotions have become almost unbearable over the last several days. Everything makes me cry. I'm afraid to watch dramatic shows or movies. My friend's sister died this week, and I am afraid to go to the funeral (I've never met her, but have been considering attending for the sake of said friend).

They say morning sickness is worst in the first trimester . . . well, once again, I go against the flow. I've vomited more over the last week than I have in my entire life! I'm sure you were curious about that . . . but it's true.

I still have 2 weeks to go before we find out the gender, and it is absolutely killing me to have to wait. Plus, I have a friend who is 6 weeks behind me in this pregnancy ordeal, and she's had 3 ultrasounds already!! And her doctor told her she could find out gender in 3 weeks!! But there's this place nearby that does 3D/4D (I assume 4D is sound, but I don't really know) and for $60 they will give you photos and identify gender anytime after 16 weeks . . . Clint doesn't seem that thrilled about it, but I think it would make me feel so much better.

After all, I shouldn't be giving the baby a stressful environment to live in, right?

There seems to be deals everywhere on seasonal clothing . . . but alas, I cannot buy any. How fantastic would it be to buy everything on sale??? (Actually, it wouldn't mean that I would be saving money. It just means that Peanut would have twice as much stuff).

I also discovered that very few Target stores carry the Classic Pooh bedroom stuff in their stores -- most of it is online only. This will make it very difficult to paint the baby's room the right shade of sage . . . which is something I wanted to get done this weekend.